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Jagdtiger and Her Droid Army

PostPosted: Sat Jun 04, 2016 3:56:12 pm
by Moongara
This is set in my RL office.

"I wonder if you could program them to hunt computer gremlins." I heard Jagdtiger musing one night while we were watching Star Wars Clone Wars on Netflix. I blew off the comment at the time...how much trouble can she get into. She has also become utterly fascinated by the game Destiny that my husbeast plays, particularly the Vex a robotic enemy species.


"Where did all my paperclips go?" I asked no one in particular two days later. I looked all over my desk and discovered a couple of paperclips outside the small "cave" Jagtiger had built for her and H.G. out of scrap paper and wire and bits of this and that. I looked inside to see Jagdtiger bending the remaining paperclips into what looked suspiciously like droid limbs.



Knowing my little Silver Tesla wyrm, I decided I was smarter to just go find more paperclips. I also made sure to bring back a handful for Jagdtiger to play with.



Jagdtiger has decided that she prefers to live at work during the week, since she can protect my work computer from the computer gremlins easier this way.

After the first round of disappearing paperclips, about every two days I would come into work and there would be one more battle droid on my desk. Somewhere along the line, she had found my discarded wire pile, and my pile of broken felting needles...since I never throw metal away.






I heard something rummaging around in the bead box I keep at work for those odd slow moments when sorting beads sounds relaxing. I looked over and saw a flash of gray fur disappearing into the box.

"What are you doing?"
"Beads make the perfect armor for my walkers."
Jagdtiger said. "I now see why you curse bead sorting so much." She said and then disappeared back into the box. That also explains why several of her droids have beaded heads...she found the discarded beading project experimental mistakes that also end up in that box.

"That could be a piece of jewelry." I said, quite impressed with Jagdtiger's walker. "That is your best one yet, Jagdtiger."

"I thought it was pronounced yag-tiger." My husbeast said.
"Jag-tiger is how I pronounce my wyrm's name to make it clear I am talking to my wyrm." I said. "Besides, H.G. gave her the nick name 'Jag' so it kind of stuck."
"Oh. Makes sense."

"How would you make this stand up?" Jagdtiger said.
"What is it?" I asked absently, while staring at the loathsome time keeping system screen.
"It's a carriage for a catapult." Jagdtiger said.
"It's going to be towed by a walker."
"I would give it legs like trailers...wait what?" I said finally realizing what she was talking about. I looked down, she had dragged a catapult made of a plastic spoon and a piece of plastic that usually comes with delivery pizzas, with the throwing power was added using a rubber band. The "carriage" was made of some sort of merchandise hanging plastic piece with wheels made of old milk caps.
"You have been busy." I said picking up the strange devise.
"It is quite amazing what you can find under the floor." She said. "So where would you put the legs."
"Here." I said, "and I would hinge them."
"It doesn't stay upright when I move the throwing arm." She said, coming back about an hour later, dragging the catapult.
"You need something on the back to stabilize it." I said. I took out my cellphone and pulled up a few images of artillery carriages and show them to Jagdtiger.

The end result of all this studying of catapults.


I know, I know, I shouldn't be helping, I should probably be discouraging this new hobby of hers...but my work computer has never run smoother.

"I wish this thing wasn't made of plastic." Jagdtiger growled to herself while climbing on a Tiger tank model I have on my desk.

"I can't make this thing operational."


To keep her from trying, I went looking for something she should be able to make operational. I stumbled upon a tank model on eBay made of bits of an actual tank, a Patton tank to be precise. Jagdtiger was thrilled when it arrived. So thrilled in fact that she helped me unpack it.



I think she likes it.


One day she dragged over a pile of the broken needles that still had some of the triangular needle left.
"Can you sharpen these?" Jagdtiger asked. "They would make perfect little spears for my army."
"Sure, this weekend." I said and went back to work. I have learned that a) it is smarter to ignore whatever bit of building Jagdtiger has decided on that day, b) better to help her than not, otherwise she might hurt herself, she has an excellent sense of what she can and can't do.


"What's this?" Jagdtiger asked, pointing to a picture in one of my books, she had found the one book on my shelf about siege engines.
"It's an elevation mechanism." I said. "Those are very important for ballisti."
"How would you make one?"
"Screws and wing nuts."


I know, at this point, I am an enabler. I took Jagdtiger to the hardware store to find the screws and wing nuts for her ballista project. While I got many strange looks from the staff, they were still very helpful.
"Oh fuzzballs". I said when I walked in the store...they had rearranged the place (a once in a blue moon event).
"This place is amazing." Jagdtiger said...I think I have created a monster.
"Remember, you have a $30 budget." I said...$50 later.

She has gone through a lot of my heavier wire lately.

I really need to discuss with her the idea of making a few non-droid sculptures that I can sell to mundanes to pay for the wire.

It is amazing what she can do with a few bits and bobs from my junk collection.


The Ballista and it's crew.


Somewhere along the line, I also added a new critter to my desk menagerie.

(http://masterplanner.deviantart.com/art ... -410700497) Only afterwards did it occur to me that this might have been a mistake. I half expected Jagdtiger's army to march on the Director's office, given his rather constant commentary about needing a "new order" to deal with the fractious drama. I work for the government so...fractious drama is an under statement.

Instead, her new friend simply imposed proper order and tactics on her army...thankfully.

He also introduced her to the value of having a small droid to act as her assistant...like a proper general should.

And then she made her new assistant a pet.


I must admit, it is occasionally hard to explain the presence of the gremlin hunting droid army Jagdtiger has built but it is worth it. My work computer has never worked so well.

I suspect this is only the start of Jag's building projects. I am starting a new job in a different building where there are many more interesting bits and pieces from which she can make many more things. I will keep you all posted.